idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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