Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
