discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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