I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
