my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Randomize
