god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
PANTIES FOUND
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