I heard we made out
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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