Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
