he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
