Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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