dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
