That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
