Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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