You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
