I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
