My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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