dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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