I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize