Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
