ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
