I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
