he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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