im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
