I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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