He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize