You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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