I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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