On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
