CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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