Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
