this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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