it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize