I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
