I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
