Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
