every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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