I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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