Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
