if you like me you must not know who I am
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
