my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
