So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We talked him into tasing himself.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
