I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
