I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
