Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
