I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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