birth control should be required to get into college
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
