I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
