Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
