I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
