it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Let's get the cat blown out
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
His nipple licking is glorious
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