What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm too high and old for this...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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