I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
