She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
