My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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