Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize