I cockslap morals
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
