Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
