just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
