Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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