lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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