Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
