i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
