His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
