this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
how do flat chested girls get laid?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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